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Post by Id on Mar 12, 2004 15:29:51 GMT -5
Yeah, yeah, I know the spelling is horrible, and there are no pictures, and if you have read it you're most probably lost, etc. but just vote for something.
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Post by Defender_16 on Mar 12, 2004 16:28:08 GMT -5
yeah well  um the spelling, AND the grammer. Just a suggestion though, you should either A) post some of the visuals to help with the text in understanding the situation. OR B) put even more text so that we have a more accurate idea of whats happening. You dont have to listen to me. Hell I still haven't finished my first book yet so I'm one to talk.  |
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Post by Id on Mar 12, 2004 16:45:37 GMT -5
...All right, I will first type it up in word then copy it over to here, and, uh, since I don't have the pictures of the original, yes I know I have bad orginisational skills, and the drawer got in to a bad car crash, hint: sharp long pieces of glass, his wrist, and a lot of pain, so he can't draw, or for that matter use his hands, anymore  And I will remake the ones that I have already done, but first tell me what you want to know about so I can explain it better.
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Post by Id on Mar 13, 2004 19:22:34 GMT -5
...well I asked Rose to modify my story...and she voted for "I don't care" o well I guess I realy don't care much about it, but I will keep posting
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Post by Craig on Mar 20, 2004 12:48:03 GMT -5
Your story needs more definition. You shouldn't really need any provided info. It should all come out in the story.
Edit: Sooner or later, the reader'll figure out what Angelic/Demonic Wing, and all that other stuff, means.
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Post by Id on Mar 20, 2004 21:40:24 GMT -5
Ok here's the deal, you ask me what you want to know, I'm not an empath so I don't know what you want, I repeat ASK me otherwise you will NEVER know.
Ways to ask:
1. PM me
2. Post on the "I thought this story would never come back to me" thread.
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Post by Id on Mar 22, 2004 17:59:51 GMT -5
The Angelic/Demonic Wings are, one wing is that of a Catholic angle, only blue, (Why blue? I just like blue) and the other looks kind of like Jone's wing. Jone is a character from Clanbob.net; only the wing is orange. (Why orange? I just like orange.)
Most of the names are in another language
I.E.: Hathatós is hungarain
Uh... oh yeah, one more thing: the story has a messed up time-line, we start at the end, Act I, part 1, scene 1-Act I, part 1, scene 2, and then Russ is sent back in time, Act I, part 2, scene 1, and then restarts his journey, Act II, part 1, scene 3. So that’s the point of the information page
...I think that's all, everything else should be in information.
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Post by gobleteer on Mar 26, 2004 15:46:10 GMT -5
It's not descriptive enough. I mean, even plays have a bit more description than this usually. I'm not going to complain about writing or anything though, since that's how you always write anyway.  |
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Post by Id on Mar 26, 2004 17:50:32 GMT -5
Yeah, OK, I'll start defining things more, and maybe if I can do it right I will ask someone to delete the Information page. Maybe in a week or so I will have rewritten the other post...Maybe...
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Post by gobleteer on Mar 28, 2004 16:40:34 GMT -5
Also, if you wanted to you could remove most of the cuss words and stuff... they aren't vital to the atmosphere, just typed as your everyday speech.(i.e. you, Id, as opposed to the chars.)
At least that's what it looked like to me.
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Post by Id on Mar 28, 2004 17:05:44 GMT -5
I think the cuss words give it the correct atmosphere. After all if someone killed your only chance of getting home, you would swear too. Also, I use more cuss words than my characters will, at least in this version. The other one is a lot more...uh...offensive?, insulting? Somewhere along those lines. Anyway, my point is that I think the cussing is neccisary. You will soon find out that Russ is a VERY angry person, but can easily control his temper.
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Post by gobleteer on Apr 8, 2004 19:25:06 GMT -5
Is there any way ou can change your vote?
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Post by Id on Apr 8, 2004 20:20:47 GMT -5
*Shrugs his shoulders.* I don't know, maybe if you bug Tom enough he will change it, or perhaps it is impossible. (That is, without hacking.)
...but why would you want to change the vote?
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Post by Id on May 24, 2004 20:16:58 GMT -5
Ok...so I haven't updated it in a while...damn life...Well, I hope to begin soon.
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Post by Defender_16 on May 25, 2004 8:16:53 GMT -5
It's a trap! They're going to be locked inside the prison cells by the people they rescued...for... some... reason.  Hey Id here's 2 books I recommend -Halo: The Fall of Reach -Halo: First Strike The author has a very distinctive writing style. You should check it out, I think it would fit well with your story. |
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um the spelling, AND the grammer. 
